Coaching Google Execs & Interviewing Every Ex w/ Miriam Katz

It's less that people are afraid of being bad at public speaking, it's that people are afraid of speaking their truth and sharing themselves.

This is Miriam Katz. Public speaking coach and the host of Ex Appeal Podcast for which she's interviewing every person she's ever been romantic with on any level.

I am planning to do 10 episodes a year for 10 years.

As a coach, she works a lot with humor as a way to loosen up her clients and allow their natural charisma to emerge.

The people that seem to be the most resistant at the beginning, I think tend to get most emotional by the end.

Katz also works as a journalist and ghost writer and performs as an actor, an improviser. She is busy! I'm Gabe Marusca, and this is Authority in the Wild where we believe the safest path is the one you design yourself. If you're done following someone else's map, you are in the right place. 00:01:00 Welcome to the Wild

uh,

Miriam, not long time ago when I was struggling a lot to share anything related to my identity or whatever I have to share. I wasn't able to look into the camera and record or host a presentation or workshop, name it. I was hiding myself behind the camera how and why this type of experience happens not just to me, but to a lot of people out there.

Well, first of all, it's very cool that you stepped out of that because I think a lot of people would just stay if you have that discomfort. Some, for some people, I think it's because they are judgemental and so then they think everyone is judging themselves, them as much. I think it can come from childhood things.

Being embarrassed and then that you hold onto that, those pain points. It's fear of sharing who you really are, because then you're gonna be rejected. 00:02:00 So it's less that people are afraid that they're not gonna seem polished, it's that they don't want someone to not like who they are.

And that's. The essential risk of love and of any kind of speaking. And it's so worth it because so many people are gonna connect to it so much. Especially the really personal things. Especially the really specific the things that are very you. But it does take that leap and then when you do do it, it's addictive.

Yeah, that's the interesting part, right? Like, because once you overcome that, uh, obstacle, whichever is, and I personally, I think I resonate with both the, the first two reason that you mentioned both being like, um, a bit afraid of, uh, what people would say, thinking about the experience, like, oh, maybe you should not talk on, uh, in front of a class because your, 00:03:00 your voice is too low. Or you, you are shy. And all those labels that we hear when you're young and we kind of stick to them and many other reasons. But how do you take that leap?

There is so much practice you can do. I think a lot about micro performances, so clients who are really uncomfortable, I will have them even start by extending their conversations when they order coffee and staying a little bit more and staying a little bit longer, and there's opportunities all the time for an exchange.

People now will order food on their phone, on their, yeah, just order it without speaking to anybody. So just always taking the route of actually making the call instead of an online appointment. And then it can lead up to, okay, so you're afraid to make an internet video. That's maybe two minutes of you talking, maybe talk for 12 seconds. Say one sentence, then maybe do a 00:04:00 podcast, then maybe build up to a stage so these slow, slow, uh, daily activities and habits so that the final thing feels less scary because you're in the mode of it more regularly. I also think the great thing about public speaking coaching is that you can do the external work.

You can learn about how to make your voice more dynamic, how to. Vary volume, how to vary speed. There are so many elements to make you more compelling. I also work a lot with people's natural humor so that they are more charming. And then there's the internal questioning of are you insecure? And why and when did that emerge and where did that come from and what's the voice you're hearing?

Are you afraid of your vulnerability, which is true for a lot of people? And what's the story around that? And can you drop that story and can you get a 00:05:00 new one? Can you find that confidence? I was working with a new client yesterday and she was doing up Speak. Are you familiar with Up Speak? It's.

I, it's very familiar. The name I cannot connect.

common in America. It's very common in Gen Z. It is when you basically ask a question instead of making a statement. So you're saying, I work in retail

instead of I work in retail and it's not a declarative, it's a question and. In some ways it can be okay because it adds a lilt to your voice instead of just totally flat.

But it does make you sound less authoritative. And I was speaking to her about it and she was saying it came from confidence issues and we turned it around into a mantra for her so that she can say, I am where I. Need to 00:06:00 be doing exactly what I should be doing, and that's, or in the form of a question, what if I'm exactly where I need to be doing exactly what I'm meant to do.

And she can say that to herself all the time, meditating or walking around so that that is the new message instead of I'm not good enough, which can lead to all sorts of defense mechanisms in public speaking. So to, yeah. To answer the question more succinctly, there's the external things we can work on, and then there's the internal questions that you can reshape.

So you are more. Self-assured and feel more free to share yourself. I also think mindset is a huge piece of this because instead of, Ugh, I have to do this presentation. You can turn it into, I get to, I'm excited. I can't wait. And also not the audience is judging me. They hate me. It's, they're lucky to hear what I have to say.

I've lived a whole life and made a whole career. 00:07:00 I'm gonna share it with them. It doesn't need to be aggressive. It's just simply. Telling you what I believe and what I've learned.

That's powerful and yeah, when it comes to words. They have so much power over us. And if you keep on telling ourself certain things, that becomes our reality. And I, I had a fascinating conversation this weekend. I was on a hike with, um, some friends and one of my friends, uh, she shared that we're listening to this podcast in which a former Nevis Navy Seal, um. Individuals training others to be able to do extreme things. And one of the things they share is like, never say out loud that you cannot do something or anything negative about your, the experience that you go through and how much power is into that. In, in literally like, like voicing 00:08:00 out. Oh my God, this is hard.

I cannot go on stage. I cannot speak. I I'll sh I'll like shake if I do it or whatever.

I, I mean, yeah, we create, it's almost a cliche, but that we create a reality, but it's so deeply true and so amazing when you can create a new lens. It's funny 'cause people talk so much about storytelling and how great storytelling is. I think stories are very limiting when it comes to ourselves and when it comes to our growth, because once you have a story, you become sort of locked into it.

And first of all, if you're telling a story over and over again, you lose the emotional connection to it because you have a way you say it. So you're almost checked out. I actually, I think, I think my, uh. Hot opinion is Antis story, but 00:09:00 yes. And then I also think just personally, there's a thing with grieving and conscious grieving where you, you're not meant to get completely absorbed in it.

You're also not meant to totally check out, so don't stay in bed crying for 20 years. Also, don't watch a bunch of tv, eat a bunch of ice cream and do a bunch of drugs. Let go of the story and feel the feelings. Those are the steps of Buddhist conscious, grieving, and. The let go of the story part is because you have all these ideas of how thing's supposed to be and who you are, but you can't actually grow unless you let go of that.

So again, if the story is I have stage fright, I'm bad at public speaking. No, you're experiencing stage fright. You have, you have some steps to take to get better, but yeah. And the same with identity. I am 00:10:00 a this person. No, you're, you're doing that a little bit. It's tival, but it's not definitive and forever.

Yeah, absolutely. And

I know that you believe in exposure and especially to comedy. Like how much does it help in overcoming those voices in your head that are like maybe, ah, maybe that I'm not funny enough, or I'm not good at

Oh, I mean, there's so many ways to answer the question 'cause I think comedy can help with those limiting beliefs. Because it's a, it turns everything upside down. It's you thought one way and then whoops. Suddenly it's the exact opposite, and that's really powerful. I also think laughing when you think you don't agree with the person is really powerful because suddenly your hardened ideas aren't so hardened in terms of believing you aren't funny.

I would also never let anybody say they aren't funny because there's so many ways to cultivate being funny. Truly spending time 00:11:00 with funny people watching comedy specials, figuring out what it is that you find funny and cultivating a light attitude. I think being less serious and controlling and stubborn and being more open-minded already makes you lighter and more playful.

So I think if people think they can't be funny, I would initially work on them being fun. Just having a better time. And that can even be vocally going up and down with your voice and being a little bit more experimental in their, their lives incrementally. And then if you're watching a lot of comedy and you're being more open-minded and not being so afraid of the outcome, suddenly you take the little risk of trying a funny thing. Then it works, and then it's, you're off to the races and you're trying more and more. Also, it doesn't really matter if something, 00:12:00 there's a way of telling a joke so that if it falls flat, it's not that big a deal. So I think it's also about you can just sort of try. But yeah, I think everybody can be much, much funnier because it's kind of just having a better personality.

Yeah, exactly. And uh, it's a skill right? At the end of the day.

It's a skill, it's an attitude, it's a mode, it's a way of living life. It's, it's not just that, it's a positive outlook on life. It's a, it's a feeling of, ooh, what's out there? 'cause it's also about observing 'cause.

And you are observing in your practice when it comes to public speaking coaching since. I would love to understand the patterns of those that comes to you. What's the commonality there?

Confidence is a huge thing lately, even just the last few weeks I've been working with people on and. Believing that they 00:13:00 have it in them to be quite good and a lot of, yeah. I'd say a big pattern is that that comes from something someone even quite random said to them in the seventh grade.

Sometimes it's bigger, sometimes it's their parents or a sibling, but often it's just one person told them to be. That they were too much or that they were annoying or, or, or anything that they heard young that then they rerouted. So I think working with confidence, I think there are a lot of defense mechanisms and that can even be filler words such as ums and likes ev, it's extremely common.

I don't know that everybody always thinks of them as defense mechanisms, but it is a way of making what you say not be as important. Also saying so at the beginning of a sentence, I'm a little bit of an anti, so ramp pager. 00:14:00 If anybody asks you a question about where you grow up, you say, so. I grew up in a small town in Ohio and even the so then makes their voice sound a little bit less certain, and I'm not somebody who wants everybody to speak like a business person who is very, very serious.

I do think some assuredness and authority is very helpful, even a very peaceful authority, but just simply you saying what it is that you believe. Rather than, so not pushing it aggressively and also not asking everything as a question. So these are all things that I'm, that I'm seeing quite a bit of. Let me think if there's something else that's even in just the last couple of weeks has come up.

Hmm.

If not, I would like to ask about the confidence part since probably it's, uh, I don't know, that was the most common one at that. seen discussions that I have. So for example, 00:15:00 tomorrow evening, uh, we met with friends to host, uh, a presentation, and each, uh, Wednesday we, some of us talks about a certain topic.

And, uh, luckily I am one of the few that kind of overcome the accent part. Not entirely, but I'm, I get rid of the Eastern European accent quite a bit. Now you will tell, but some of our friends, they struggle with that. They're both dead. They're all for Eastern European countries and they're like, how to get rid of this?

My confidence is affected by it. And that's another reason from those that you mentioned, like how someone that listening to this can overcome big pillar if you want of confidence when it comes to. Speaking, when it comes to expressing themselves and and so on. If there is a framework approach or it's a lot of internal work.

Certainly 00:16:00 both. Imperfection is such a great thing to work with someone on because. A letting go of the desire to be perfect is so profound in someone's life, because someone having an accent is no problem really. It's really about accepting. I mean, and it's, it's a hard thing in this culture when Botox exists.

This desire and this even ability to be 65 years old and push your skin back so you look 20, there's so many, and then pulling your skin, you know, there's just so many ways to get people to look perfect, which is a real detriment to truth. What do you look like? How old are you? It's okay for that to be the baseline truth, and I think that is, I work a lot with improv because if you, so for 00:17:00 example, well, I might play a rhyming game where we back and forth need to do two rhyming couplets.

You're not gonna, if we're keeping a rhythm, you're not gonna do a good job. You're gonna have said banana. I like to eat bananas. The other day I ran a marathon. You know, like you're just gonna say something so silly. That is not a perfect rhyme. That is a bad thing I just made up. But it totally works with the game.

And then you move on. And I think getting used to, I mean, great thing about improv is that the mistake. Then becomes the best part of the show because everyone on your team supports the mistake. So for example, I just rhymed banana with ran a marathon, which is a, then if we do it three more times, it becomes funny and then it becomes a good thing.

So you are embracing your imperfection, either embracing or at least saying, who cares? It's not that big a deal because we're all making mistakes 00:18:00 every day. We're all stumbling over our words. We're all. Just making attempts at things. Nobody's doing perfect in business or in relationships. And so if you can feel comfortable with the mistake and in the case of a relationship, apologize about it, but just in general, you have a bad meeting, that's okay.

It's fine. You learn something from it. You have had good meetings in your life, you can move on. But the obsessive. Feeling of, oh, it has, has to have gone perfectly. There sort of is no perfectly, who are you specifically that is unique and distinct and not a boring Botox person? What is your gift? And shared that.

And yes, there's all these beautiful ways like having a dynamic. Way of presenting, curbing some of those ums and likes. There are these things that make you more effective, and I also think being comfortable 00:19:00 with imperfection so that you just go for it. I don't know what I'm saying to you as I'm saying it.

I'm trying. I didn't map out what I was gonna try to say in this podcast. I'm just saying stuff and trying, and you and I are having a back and forth. It's an experiment, as any dialogue is, and so that feeling of trusting yourself, that something will come out. And in fact, if you don't try to overly control it, something better is gonna come out.

And that's where adrenaline can be. A great thing. I think people think of adrenaline as a thing you have to fight against in public speaking that heightening can make your brain work great.

This is refreshing especially now when you're like recording this in the end of February and. A lot of people are, quote unquote afraid that they're being replaced by AI and and so on. And when you're truly yourself and you're not hiding, you're not, I 00:20:00 dunno, putting a mask, it's so much easier to.

Truly become who you should be. Like just show, show up there and start speaking and start connecting with people. And like you mentioned, you, you didn't plan what you're about to say. You, you are just having a back and forth with me. But this conversation creates something. And after we, we believe that we should leave that perfectionist Messiah and just try to experience life, not just trying to play, uh. Role in in society in which, oh, I should be perceived this way or that way, or or the other. And I think vulnerability, it's a huge thing. And yeah, and speaking of that, like I'm talking now with someone that you launch a podcast that in which you interview access. Like I'm like, that's the most unique podcast idea I ever 00:21:00 heard and. How that helps you in the sense, not just on level, but as well on a business level to to have this con vulnerable conversation at the end of the day and show yourself out there like that.

Oh. I mean, it's really helpful on so many levels. I think one, well, personally I think I have said things to people that I've wanted to say for a really long time, and so there's been that it's, I've just held onto something and saying it to the person directly, not to a friend. Makes it exit my body in a really helpful way. And then on an on a more profound level, I have found out things from people. I've had, again, a story about them and us, and I'm finding out things that are so different from what I've believed for so 00:22:00 long. It is incredibly helpful to have that truth, whether it is positive or negative.

It is incredible to know what really happened or what they really thought happened or what was going on with them in a way that we didn't discuss when we were 23 years old, say, or 15. So yes, on a personal level, I just feel true deep bodily closure, and then I. Started doing social media less than a year ago to promote the podcast, so May of 2025.

And I first just wanted to show clips of the podcast. And a friend of mine who's very deep into social media said, you can't just show clips, you have to show your personality. And it was so annoying to hear 'cause it was so right and it was just so much more. Scary and more work 00:23:00 and more vulnerable. And I mean, the podcast is so vulnerable, so of course that makes so much sense.

But then, yeah, it made so much sense that I needed to speak as myself and share my thoughts without too much ing up and, and editing and then. It has been. I've never, I was never a person that said, oh, here's what I had for dinner on social media. And so to then go from zero to I'm talking about a heartache.

I'm talking about sex, I'm talking about misunderstandings, I'm talking about times that I've failed as a partner. But what I do like about podcasts is the long form aspect of it. I can't imagine writing a paragraph about any of those things and throwing it up. I think it's the unfurling with the person.

I don't think I would do it just talking to a friend. I also don't think it would be as 00:24:00 interesting for people just to hear the information. Yes, some of the anecdotes are interesting. I have had a, I'd say expansive life, but. There is a whole other level of it where it is, it is the person, so there's this tension built in, but also there's this respect to the person that they're included in the conversation.

I'm not just saying what I thought happened, I am getting their perspective, their memory. Yeah. It's, it's been very moving and also it has strengthened my belief that sharing your specific self is. Good for you and good for the world.

Love that perspective and yeah, I bet it's very therapeutic to, to have this conversation that. You couldn't have otherwise and or you can have them, like you don't have to relaunch a podcast to have those conversations. But, um, I think that doing it this way involves us all 00:25:00 the public aspect of it, for both of you, not just for you, but it's even more authentic than, I dunno. Going for a coffee or or an ice cream and having a, I know a chat.

It is. It is different. It is interesting that sometimes something being recorded forces you to tell the truth rather than not. Yeah. There's something about, I also think it's expected that it's gonna be a bit long form, so it's not gonna be just 10 minutes. It's also a scheduled moment to talk about this so in advance, you know.

So maybe you've rolled it around in your mind and certain memories have come up the week prior, and there is something about having an audience that you feel like you should not lie, or at least I definitely feel that way.

And everyone that you interview so far told the truth at any given time moment, or.

I have. I will ask follow up questions if it feels like somebody is 00:26:00 omitting something or is dancing around something, or if they are, you know, during the duration of the interview, people get more unmoored and more relaxed and they're trusting the conversation and they're also seeing that it's not me criticizing them at all.

It's me being curious. Even if people are maybe a little crossed arms at the beginning, they'll be crying by the end. The people that seem to be the most resistant at the beginning, I think tend to, uh, get most emotional by the end, which makes sense because they, they were trying to block something off.

They were trying to block off that vulnerability, and then it, it came out, which is quite beautiful, that trajectory, that arc in a relationship. And what was the question?

I forgot to talk, to be honest,

Yeah, yeah, that's fine. We just, well, like are

yeah. Yeah. Sharing the truth or not. 00:27:00 Uh,

sharing the truth? Yeah, I think they generally are. I think, um, there's not really a point in saying yes to me if they're not gonna speak the truth. They also dated me so they know deal and they know that I want things to be real. So I think that also.

Opens up that space for them. I think also you, it's hard to lie for an hour and 10 minutes. At some point, you're gonna start to tell the truth again.

Yeah. And.

For those wondering, to check out EX-appeal podcast, how long this show will go .

The first season is 10 episodes, and then I'm currently. Recording episodes for season two, which will be out in September. I am planning to do 10 episodes a year for 10 years.

Nice

Nice.

And yeah, I'm, I'm thinking like,

I won't share anything of my life experience, but I 00:28:00 think people should take as an example since being, uh, in different relationships or how you call them, um, or romantic, uh.

Encounters. Yeah. Romantically involved. So it can be somebody that I kissed one time.

Exactly. And you take something from those people, right? Like lesson and a smile, a heartbeat, something. And, I was listening to some of the episodes and as well, knowing that. You interview someone that was, for example, addictive to sex or other, that was, um, having, stage four, if I remember correctly, colon cancer.

And so like, and being with, people that, because let's be honest, like some people like met their love of their life in high school and they stayed together for the rest of their life. I dunno how to feel about that in the sense that. That's nice, I will say. But you don't learn that 00:29:00 much being all your life with one single person, but you're, when you're romantic, uh, romantically involved with a lot of people, you learn so many things that will help you in life. Some might be traumatized by that. I was one of those at some point, after that, I personally learned at least that, wait a second. I learned so much from this experience and those experience made me who I am today. Can you share a bit more about that? Like To create a top of, lessons or experiences that you with them that shape Miriam, that is today.

oh, wow. I think I slowly have learned, to be more honest, I, and yes, slow. It's been many years of dating, I think. Um. I've slowly learned what works for me in terms of relationships. There is this theme throughout that you'll hear of, um, I quote this line from Nico Case. 00:30:00 Uh, Nico Case is a singer and she has this line. "I fked every man who I wanted to be." I had a real history of, as I call it, fking up. So people who I really admired, who had incredible talent, who were really intense, who just something had some kind of a amazing, powerful enormity.

And I am much more interested now in. Mutual respect and equality and admiration, but not feeling intimidated by the person I'm dating and also not wanting to become the person I'm dating, but rather being happy with who I am and my own trajectory of growth. But that took a lot of discomfort with people not being totally into dating me, and me being obsessed with them and worshiping them.

So that's one. Um, I think every single date I've gone on, I've learned something like as you were saying, 00:31:00 there's even, even just how people live. That's why I love doing podcasts because it's so interesting to see what people's jobs are, how they live, where they live, how they chose this life, how far it's strayed from their family, their family's expectations.

The way people exist is super interesting and when you are connecting with someone romantically. You are smushed up in that, first of all, because you spend time with those people, but also even just if you have sex with somebody, you are very close to them. So just energetically, you're as close as you can be to somebody.

So I think I experienced and acting is very similar. I've played so many kinds of characters, and so I've had little moments of my life. Where I've been a totally different person. So dating, say an Orthodox Jewish person who then became a rabbi. I learned about that life. And then, yeah, 00:32:00 playing a worm on a kid's TV show.

I also learned maybe what it's like to be a worm. You know? I mean, it's such an extreme example, but I think I. I think I also saw how mutable life is and that you can choose so many paths so that I feel less obsessed with being this one way. It's, it's related to that open perspective comedy perspective of it doesn't need to be this way.

So I can be a little more experimental in my life and I can take little risks with how I am. And I think also I felt I was able to connect to so many different people. That gives me a kind of confidence that I can be who I am, so that if you, if someone doesn't like it, that is okay. I don't need every single person to think that I'm exactly right, because that would make me kind of boring.

So the, the freedom to be exactly who I am, I think came out of dating a 00:33:00 lot of different kind of people.

And that's powerful since, uh, a lot of people. don't experience freedom, at least, uh, at, at that level in which you are so confident that you can just be, and you don't have to, I don't know, tick the boxes of anyone else or, or someone, like if you're confident in yourself, if you are like living the life that you want, if you are okay with so saying no, that's, that's powerful and mm. It's interesting to see like how you blend in so many things like improv, podcaster, journalist, actor, coach, and what's next? Like do you plan to. To upskill yourself to, because obviously I, interviewing, it's a, it's a skill, but by judging by what I 00:34:00 heard in your podcast, you're doing fantastic. next there?

What a beautiful question. Let me see if I even have an answer. Yeah, love came outta my mouth. Yeah, that's what came to my mind. And I don't mean romantic love. I have a great boyfriend. I mean, um, leading even more with love somehow. And then in even more of a sharing and even less resistance and. Even more people. So project-wise, I'm not sure, but I think that that angle, I think there's even more to go with the podcast and even more to go with. I do think I'm kind of a born teacher, but even more with making people feel like themselves with public speaking. So I, I even, I really do feel like I'm in the right place in both those areas. I haven't. Maxed out. Even this season of interviews feel different. It feels like another level. So yeah, I'd say 00:35:00 a continuation.

And then I'm trying to think, is there more? There might be more with acting and yeah, I'd say I think there's probably even more of a risk. I'm always talking about growth and risk, so I think there's probably even more to leap into where I am. More, more free, more wild, more myself. There's always more to go.

I'm thinking of something. How

about a

TV series call X Appeal.

I for sure. You're also probably psychic because I think I, that was, uh, rolling around in there. For sure, for sure. Yes. And I mean, a narrative, like a fictional one,

Yeah, of course.

Not a documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. I have a treatment for it. I wrote a treatment for it.

Nice, nice. I'll watch that. And

Thank you.

question here, like. What does your boyfriend say to you? Like, I hope you won't interview, you 00:36:00 interview me on your podcast, or,

Well, I mean, it is exes, so if we stay together, he never has to be interviewed.

yeah.

So that keeps us together. That's, that's better than a ring.

Yes, exactly. And um. Yeah, it's fascinating, uh, this trajectory and what you share and what I want to ask, uh, going back a bit to public speaking, like how this intersects like the podcast and your coaching work in, in terms of course, I assume it's, it's a lot of learning from there, but you have any quote unquote strategic approach to.

Use the podcast for your business or

Oh, well that's one question which I will answer. I think the first thought was it's a bit of a similar mode of I am 00:37:00 showing my vulnerability. As a model

for both my clients and the people that I'm interviewing, so that we're doing it together. I'm not just asking you to do it and sitting back. So that is, I'd say that's a, a kind of strategy, not even super conscious.

It's who I am, but that's, you know, I'm being a pedagogical model. And then I. Strategically in terms of, yeah, it's not really that the podcast is promote to promote my public speaking business. I think it's a good, I mean, I'm actually next week teaching a class for entrepreneurs about how to be a good guest on a podcast.

So it is related, it is communication and I think I know a lot about podcasting and, and the. The need for vulnerability, the need for being yourself, the need for really sharing yourself instead of 00:38:00 just saying, here's my pitch that I say to everybody and I'm saying it the same way I say it to everybody.

It's such a present medium if it's done right. So yes, I think they, they intersect tonally, but it is not as if I am. I haven't really mentioned public speaking on the podcast much. And yeah, I think they are separate projects that intersect emotionally and I almost think the podcast is sort of an example.

Maybe it's a good example of what I am, um, requesting of my clients. Although nobody needs to talk about their romantic life at work.

Yeah, exactly. And but what, what interviewing your exes, like teach you about yourself that years of coaching and, uh, acting wasn't able to 00:39:00 do.

Hmm. Oh, I think how sensitive I am. I think that really brought it out. I think. There was a lot of searching for validation through people I was dating. I also think it, it shows me quite clearly how curious I am because I'm dating such different kinds of people. So I think I'm also, that's most clear, I think, in my dating life and yeah, how much I love connecting.

That's why it's so painful when things disconnect and that's why it feels so good to have these final goodbyes to people because it does feel like we're reconnecting, which is a really important, I think it really showed me how important feeling connected to people is. It is the only thing we have. That's why AI is such a bummer. It's like, it's not you. What is how, what is a 00:40:00 bad, like, tell me your worst sentence. Tell me how badly you write. I'd like to see it. It's fine. I'd, I'd rather see a badly written sentence.

I think that would be the way to stand out moving forward when you see grammar mistakes mumbles on, on camera and uh, behind the scenes rather than. There is my AI avatar speaking perfectly, but when you open your voice, you are not speaking English. Yeah. It's, it's an interesting world we are living in and I think public speaking, it's one of those skills if that you get, you can get good at and truly making building authority at the end of the day for yourself and, um. If those that are listening to us and like, I don't want to talk to Miriam to be helped, who are they? Who's your audience?

Hmm. One thing I wanna 00:41:00 say right before I answer that, because I feel like we talked a lot about. Diving in and jumping into the lake and taking the risk and just getting up and sharing yourself with public speaking. I'll also say very importantly, practice helps, and in fact, the people who practice the most are the best public speakers, of course.

So they may have a natural talent, but they're also practicing quite a bit and practicing quite a bit so that the day of they don't need to look at their notes or have it memorized. They have it ingrained in them. So I just wanted to point out that that is, it's, it's not just simply that you and I are saying just go for it.

There is a buildup and there is a, yeah, you can get more and more comfortable before you hit the stage. I have a couple new students who are getting their, just finishing their PhDs and are going out into the job market. And they are doing interviews and 00:42:00 also, uh, speaking at conferences, and they are incredibly brilliant and have never focused on this and have always, there's kind of a baseline accepted way of speaking and maybe in, in their particular field, you almost aren't asked to be a great speaker.

You just kind of. Get through it and everyone's pretty interested in the information, especially everybody else in their field. And so they've never thought about how it is that they express themselves. So that has been very gratifying, especially working with people who are such lifelong learners. They are absorbing what you're saying.

They're so interested, they're so curious, and they. My experience so far has been that they are very willing to try. So that has been that. That's like I see P someone who's excited to try Oh my God. And is, you know, not defensive. 00:43:00 Incredible. There's people who are starting to do more media appearances.

And they do okay. They're not a disaster, so they actually haven't put that much time into improving, but they need to show a lot more life in their eyes, life in their face, dynamic speaking, making jokes, laughing because that's appropriate to the kind of media appearances they're doing, especially television.

It's usually a five minute appearance. You gotta bring a lot of enthusiasm and energy in life and be willing to roll with the punches and make jokes, or at least acknowledge that a joke's been made and not just plow through your message. I have helped people prepare podcasts, panel discussions. Yeah, everyone kind of comes in with one particular event that they're working towards, and then it usually expands out.

So I personally would rather 00:44:00 work with somebody. Who feels pretty uncomfortable with public speaking and getting them to a point where they are comfortable rather than someone who is quite good and they wanna be excellent that I've done that and great, let's, I can always, I can truly help anyone and I can bump you up and I'm sure there, I have a very specific angle on it and I think I'm trying to get people to be much more authentic so that can be miraculous for people.

But I really love people who. Are a bit uncomfortable and have somehow gotten through their career and maybe are very high, le high up in marketing, but just never quite dealt with this thing because it's so deep and has such deep implications for their confidence for their. Relationships. I mean, that's another way it relates to the podcast.

Them speaking up for themselves, speaking the truth, articulating, believing in themselves, wrestling with some self-esteem issues, which 00:45:00 they may have had since middle school, and it can get emotional when people have a breakthrough. Maybe somebody who's always been very controlled. We do an improv exercise and then suddenly they just come up with something quite funny, but they just.

It just stumbled out of them and they'll be surprised by what they're capable of. And moments like that are so fun. So it is moving. I.

And I'm sure a lot of those listening. Can fit in one of those categories where they should reach out to you to work with you.

I have a website, miriam katz.com, and there's a coaching tab. I have a creative projects tab and a coaching tab, and I really wondered whether I should just have a straight up coaching website. But I do think all the creative projects, voiceover, acting, podcast, journalism, those all relate so much to communication.

So it felt like 00:46:00 why? Why keep them separate so you can contact me. There and then I like LinkedIn a lot. I think it's such a fun way to meet people. Honestly, it's my most social media and I'm also on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, so they can, yeah, anybody can DM me anywhere and even if you just simply have a question. Yeah, I'm very generous with help.

Lovely, and I'll put the links down below as well for those listening and I. Want to conclude with something that might help those listening to make that first little step towards speaking what they can do in maybe one week to make that little step and showing out there.

I would expand all of your conversations. The mindset piece is, 00:47:00 piece is important. The belief in yourself, the dealing with the ticks, the making your voice more dynamic. But I think the micro performance of at the dry cleaner at the coffee shop with a friend, making it a phone call instead of a text.

Calling for delivery instead of delivering on the app. All of those things, I think if you spend a week doing a little bit more of you'll, al words will have been out coming out of your mouth publicly, and you can say that you did more public speaking that week. So I'd say actively actually doing it instead of it being theoretical is a great way to start in one week.

This was Miriam Katz. Own authority in the world. And if this conversation made you feel differently and think differently about public speaking, you know what to do. Check Miriam's work and make sure you subscribe to not miss the next one. Until next week, Pura Vida!